ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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