Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
