Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
