You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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