my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
