Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
