Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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