somebody snuck up and got me drunk
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
