woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
