i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
