By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
