just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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