there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
