Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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