the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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