idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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