My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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