I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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