I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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