i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
