So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
