i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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