Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize