everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
