is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
