My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
