Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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