Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Holy shit dude........stairs
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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