Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
