He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
