If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize