Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
