She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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