just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
