I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
