he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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