I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
