Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
