Plan B is the new Plan A
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
