you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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