I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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