i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
