Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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