I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize