U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
