From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
