At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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