I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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