a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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