Can Purell be used as lube?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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