Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
