Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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