I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
