Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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