I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
