dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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