We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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