they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize