"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
