he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
