Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize