dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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