dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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