ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
