would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
