Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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