Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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