how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
