Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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