dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
